I’m chasing him in my car down the street. I was going crazy. The motherfucker had stolen a baby, of all things, and one that was barely clinging to its life.
I was honking my horn. Shouting. Look at the madman, he’s stolen a baby. But no one was listening. They all just watched him run and me chase him. People suck.
Eventually the gawky sick fuck started trying to outsmart me. He entered a residential neighborhood and began running around trees and through people’s backyards. Shit like that.
At first I didn’t know what to do. I quickly drove on to the sidewalk and through someone’s front yard, leaving tire tracks all across it. That guy’s probably not too pleased. But hey, I probably did some heavy duty damage to my car by driving it like that. So whatever, we all have our shit to deal with.
Anyway. I hop the curb and start driving on grass and shit like that. I was just about to knock the sick fuck over when we reached a fence. This guy must be like the next Carl Lewis or something like that. I swear to god he cleared that fence – which was about four and a half feet high – in a single hurdle.
I wasn’t so lucky. I crashed my wheels into the fence.
Now I was really pissed. This motherfucker was going to kill a baby and my car. As much as I love life and think it’s the most beautiful thing, I really wanted to kill this guy. I view him as the Devil.
Apparently it was a loud crash, because the guy who owned the house on which the fence was located came outside. He started screaming at me, but I was ignoring him. He said he’d call the police, I’d go to jail. I didn’t care. I had two things on my mind: kick the fucking shit out of the retard I was chasing and get the baby back.
So I climb the fence and start chasing him. The little shit really is speedy. Although the way he runs is kind of funny; it’s like he’s galloping or something. Strange.
Anyway, he’s running through all these people’s backyards, through gardens, on dirt paths, even through a line of shrubbery. And he did all this with a baby in his arms.
I kept following him on the crazy path he was taking, getting angrier by the second because of how much pain he was putting this baby through. I mean if you think about it, she was probably less than a month old, and had already spent time hanging out in a trash can and running through shrubs. Ain’t exactly the best welcome to the world.
Anyway, I started feeling as though I knew this neighborhood from somewhere. Like I got the impression that he knew the neighborhood too – and was trying to throw me off by taking all these strange routes. But the whole time I felt as though I just knew where we were going.
And then I realized why.
I saw it. The tree.
“Kelly loves Shree.”
And sure enough, he started following the path towards Shree’s apartment building. This was freaking me out. I mean, my mind is going a mile a minute here. Just consider the situation: I’ve crashed my $75,000 antique car into some guy’s fence, and now I’m chasing some sick fuck who stole a baby girl I saved in a trash can while he’s running to the apartment complex of my impotent ex-boyfriend/medical patient. I mean, I wasn’t sure if he just lived there too or if he was actually taking this stolen baby to Shree’s place. In light of everything else that’s gone down, neither would surprise me.
I was going on two things here: adrenaline and instinct. Sure as hell wasn’t much of an intellectual thought process going on up in my mind. So I kept following him for about a couple hundred yards until we finally reached our destination. Shree’s apartment complex.
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