I have some friends who think they are funny that sign me up for dating sites without my permission. Of course, not just any dating site, as that wouldn't be funny enough. Instead it's all these bizarre fetish sites, so that I end up getting some rather peculiar emails. I'd like to remind my friends that practical jokes are only really funny when I play them on others, not the other way around.

Anyway that got me thinking: where is Internet-based matchmaking headed? A few thoughts:

1. Bloggers/Musicians/Niche communities. We talk a lot about the wonderful opportunities that niche social networks/online communities are destined to provide us here on KidMercuryBlog.com, and we can add matchmaking services to that list. Right now, the generic dating sites -- i.e. Match.com, True.com, eHarmony.com, etc -- attract anyone and everyone, and then just play the matchmaking game. As the web progresses, though, it will become apparent that the technology to create a dating site is practically free; what is scarce, though, is finding the right community that will have like-minded people that you are likely to get along with. For instance, popular bloggers and musicians can add dating sites to their online communities; this will serve as a potential revenue source, and will also help people find like-minded folks (i.e. many couples enjoy similar music tastes or similar literature, and find one another through their shared interest). For instance, a dating site for 9/11 truthers is something I think could work really well; we're ostracized from mainstream society, so it would be a great opportunity that would fill a key void in the marketplace, as well as helping to fuel the cultural revolution truthers seek to create.

2. Local sites. Just as local newspapers helped the matchmaking process in the pre-Internet days, so too will local web sites. In fact, perhaps any local retail store with enough of a returning customer base could create an online presence to help its customers connect with each other (Starbucks, that's all you). For instance, near my apartment in Miami Beach, there are two organic health food stores; food is such an important element of social relations, so connecting people with similar food values could be a great opportunity. Though in my case this might not work so well, as I've unsuccessfully hit on cashiers at both those stores. At one store I made a complete fool out of myself so I can't really go back there. At the other store I thought I had a chance as the cashier was angry at me, which is fantastic; I'm a big believer that the best strategy is to get whoever you like really mad at you, like as mad as can be, like face-turning-red fuming mad. Then, when their anger is at its peak, go for laughter. If you get that you're good to go, it's a piece of cake after that. So I got her angry at me, but I couldn't follow through with laughter. Instead I acted all nice and helped her pack my groceries, which is the worst thing I could've done. Nobody likes nice guys. Even girls who say they like nice guys don't like nice guys; they just don't want to get hurt, which is fair enough, as no one wants to get hurt -- but, alas, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Anyway I'm reluctant to try further because if I make a fool out of myself at this store then I won't have any organic grocery stores left that I can go to, and then I'll have to eat the crap "food" that everyone else eats (see our introduction to the food problem). Alas, looks like my dream of finding love in an organic grocery store may be coming to an end. Some guys dream of supermodels and porn stars, I dream of cashiers at organic grocery stores. Sadly, my dreams have been destroyed.

But I'll definitely keep working the anger/laughter strategy, that's a keeper for sure. Only ever works for me by accident though, never when I consciously try. Oh well.

When Computers Take Over

Leading technologists are eager to create what has been referred to as the semantic web -- a world in which computers can gather information, analyze it, and extract meaning from it. A simple version of this might in be how social networks can determine the nature of the relationship between people based on frequency of messaging, the types of words used, and shared friends they have. Could they then go so far as to find people who seem to be potentially compatible? Some dating sites already do stuff like this, although it is still at a fairly basic level, as computers aren't fully capable of reading analyzing all the available information. Yet.

As with many issues related to cutting edge technology, the potential scenarios that can arise as the semantic web develops are both awe-inspiring and frightening. For instance, my cell phone provider could analyze my text messages, emails, and phone calls to learn the following about me:

• my relationships tend to be short-lived and end poorly (i.e. "I hate you, don't ever contact me again" type of endings)
• I could be characterized as a loner/recluse; I have never really had many friends and most of my interactions with people center around my career, so there aren't many non-work relationships to begin with
• I have a strained relationship with my family (and thus, I tend to be psychologically compatible with people who come from broken homes, divorced parents, deceased parents, etc)

That's three HUGELY important pieces of information that my cell phone provider -- and now, uh, you -- know about me (I trust you more than I trust the telecom companies, so I figure if they know, you might as well too). Coupling that knowledge with some basic psychoanalysis could enable my cell phone provider to match me up with other like-minded folks, so that I can more easily continue having dysfunctional relationships.

And that's just scratching the surface of what can be done.

When Astrology Takes Over

I generally dislike how much astrology is associated with matchmaking, as I think it is part of why many people who don't know anything about astrology tend to dismiss it as "girly" or stupid/naive/silly. With that said, astrology is a FANTASTIC tool for assessing relationships. Once I am comfortable with a person whom I think I may have an important relationship with, I try to ask for their birth data (provided I think they would be open to sharing it and would not be offended or weirded out by the request), as it can shed great light on potential pitfalls, synergies, and opportunities for psychological/spiritual growth that the relationship can provide. There are already some matchmaking services that match people up based on astrological data. If this were to be combined with other data that cell phone providers or social networks would have, the results could be truly astounding.

Legendary psychologist/astrologer Carl Jung did an experiment in which he examined the birth charts of happily married couples. I'm always extremely skeptical of studies like that, though Jung's findings -- which were that Sun/Moon conjunctions (where one partner's Sun was conjunct the other person's moon, i.e. man with moon at 12 degrees Leo with woman whose sun was at 12 degress Leo...generally we can allow for an orb of about 10-15 degrees [meaning 10-15 degrees away from being exact, closer the better]) are an indication of marital compatibility -- have been confirmed by many other astrologers. There are, of course, many, many, MANY different ways compatibility can work; for me personally, my most intimate relationships have been where there is a Sun/Moon conjunction (my moon conjunct her sun) or a Venus/Moon conjunction (my Venus conjunct her moon, or vice-versa). Here is my previous post on my birth chart; you'll see I have my Sun at 9 degrees Virgo, Moon at 5 degrees Gemini, and Venus at 23 degress Cancer.

Of course, in a world where computers can access all this information and extract meaningful conclusions from it, one has to wonder at what point the computer (or the ruling elite that control the technology) is making the choices instead of the human, and to what extent this is a problem.